The technique of the three calls to attention

Applying positive discipline to avoid damaging their self-esteem and security is fundamental. At this opportunity, we are going to see the technique of the three calls to attention used to correct the little ones when they do not pay attention.

What is the common technique among the three calls for attention?

Surely, when your child does not pay attention, you insist a million times for him to perform a certain action and, even so, he still does not obey; this leads you, most of the time, to get angry, lose patience and end up yelling at him.

Yelling and bad manners end up damaging the child and his self-esteem. In addition, as parents, we end up feeling bad for having yelled or spoken in bad manners. So, we don’t have to get to that point.

This technique of the three attention calls consists of sending the same message three times using an appropriate, different, and suitable tone in each of the three attention calls. However, for this technique to work, it is essential that it be accompanied by other aspects of language that will be detailed later.

The interesting thing about this technique is that it is effective and children quickly become accustomed to these three touches. In addition, it not only helps the child to be more obedient but also teaches parents how to relate to their children without shouting, punishment, or threats.

How to use this technique?

It is important to keep in mind that when we use this technique of the three calls for attention, we should do it gradually and control the tone of voice in the three calls for attention.

Ideally, the calls for attention should be limited to 3 or less, which is what this discipline technique establishes. For which this method must be applied gradually and from the time the children are small.

In this way, children learn that when their parents call their attention to them, they must respond to the first call. Or, in any case, to the second one and to always be aware that a third call is the limit and that more implies some kind of consequence.

First call for attention

On this first call, we will use a calm and quiet tone. We can even ask him to perform a certain action in an affectionate way.

Second call for attention

If after we have made the first call, the child does not pay attention, we have to move on to the second call. Here, the tone of voice has to be more serious so that the child realizes that we are not playing and that he has to do what we are asking him to do.

Third call for attention

If a third call is necessary, we will have to use a more forceful tone of voice and, showing total security, we will ask him/her again to do what we are telling him/her and what the consequences will be if he/she does not obey.

We will always use the loss of privileges, we will never resort to punishments. If the child listens, we will give him something that he wants that is not material. It can be watching a movie together, playing with him, making his favorite food, etc.

If, in spite of this, he does not comply with what we ask him to, we will tell him in a serious tone that it is not right to disobey us and, furthermore, that he has to do what we are asking him to do, even if it has to be an order.

Important tips to make the three-attention-getting technique work

It is essential to keep these three tips in mind if you want the three-attention technique to have its real effect with your children.

Body posture

Human beings transmit a lot of information with our body posture. For this reason, it is recommended that, in order to use the technique of the three calls for attention with children, your body posture should go along with and be in harmony with the message. This posture can range from a relaxed and loving position to a firm and more serious one.

The look

The phrase “a look is worth a thousand words” has never been more accurate. Children need to be looked at, not only so that messages reach them more easily, but also so that they feel important and valued.

You can also read: Common learning difficulties and how to deal with them

The content of the message

Being clear and concise with the messages we give to our children is of vital importance, especially when we are talking about young children. The message must have a few words and be easy to understand without the possibility of doubt. Some parents, with the intention of involving the child and, in order to strengthen their self-esteem, choose to communicate with them with suggestions and questions. It is true that this helps the child to participate and feel the importance of their word in the home. However, in the case of children with a tendency to disobey, it is important that they differentiate the possibility of choosing from the forcefulness of something that must be done.

Obviously, this technique does not take effect from one day to the next, and even less so with children who are used to not having any consequences for their negative attitudes or actions. Therefore, as we have said, for this technique to be effective and positive, it must be applied from the time children are young.

In addition, it is important for parents to be consistent in the application of the technique and to be consistent with it. That is to say, consistent with the application of the consequence derived from the children’s lack of attention, or case.

Thus, in this way, your child will learn, in a more natural way, to pay attention to 1, 2 and, as a limit, 3 calls for attention. Whether this call is in the form of a request or suggestion, a warning or a direct order.

Our Nino de la Caridad Foundation is a non-profit organization dedicated to empowering and improving the quality of life for young people in the Bronx. If you want to help this noble cause I invite you to follow us on Instagram and if you wish you can donate HERE.

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